... you might be a liberal.

If you tour a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat... you might be a liberal. 

If you think making others pay more taxes to support your favorite causes makes you a good person... you might be a liberal. 

If you call others "racist," but won't shop on the corner store because of the "unseemly characters" who frequent the store (who all just happen to be of a race other than yours)... you might be a liberal. 

If you believe cutting taxes adds to the deficit, but increasing spending does not... you might be a liberal. 

If buying a missile defense system is political pork, but building a rainforest in Iowa is good community investment... you might be a liberal.

If you believe the AIDS virus is spread because of a lack of federal  funding... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that the teacher who can't teach reading is qualified to teach sex... you might be a liberal.

If you think guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more dangerous than U.S. nuclear
weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists... you might be a liberal.

I you believe that there would be no art without Federal funding... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that global temperatures are less affected by  cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by  yuppies driving SUVs... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that businesses create oppression and but governments create prosperity... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that hunters hate nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle love it... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it... you might be a liberal.

If you believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars... you might be a liberal.

If you believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of  the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts  of the Constitution... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not... you might be a liberal.

If you believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high... you might be a liberal.