A Special Message From Democrat Presidential Candidate, [fill in the blank].

(This message was intercepted and processed through a truth translator.)

"Hi, I want to be President. I want power and prestige.

"I promise to rape, pillage and plunder the people who are financing my ability to become President. Of course once I'm elected I'll do no such thing, because that would be economic suicide. Tax hikes result in decreased revenue and fewer jobs – President Bush’s tax cuts are proving that as we speak.

"I'm making this promise to appeal to the morons in my party who are shopping for government handouts. With nine primary candidates I will HAVE to promise to be Santa Claus in order to win. Here is the ridiculous list of big government giveaways I have come up with so far. Let me know if there are any empty promises I can make, to you personally, in order to get you to vote for me. Remember, nothing is too outrageous.

"You might be wondering how I plan to move from the wacky left WAY back to the right to win the general election from a popular and effective President. I really have no intention of winning the general election. Running for President is a great moneymaker. Being the losing Democrat nominee will increase the payout on my future book deals, and honorariums on my future speaking engagements.

“If the country does have a major catastrophe, and it looks like I might be able to benefit; well, I'll worry about that lie AFTER I win the Democrat primary. In the meantime, keep your fingers crossed, and keep on hoping for the WORST!

"And remember that I hate George Bush more than the other Democratic candidates for President."

(This message brought to you by the Terry McAuliffe and the Democrat National Committee – void after tomorrow because the Supreme Court just removed our freedom of political speech thanks to that hypocrite John McCain.)